Here I am again. Laying on my bed. Thinking once again about the failure of today. I did it. I ate the damn cookies. And I enjoyed them. I enjoyed those stupid cookies, until they made me sick.
I have a tire around my belly that won't go away.
I run, excercise, sauna, and it just won't go.
Because I can't let go.
I don't know why... but I have a problem.
I fall short, because I am scared of succeeding. I am afraid of failing. I just can't seem to keep it together in the end. I need to re-program my way of thinking.
I fell for temptation today. I ate the crackers, toffees, white bread, jam, and cookies. YEP. I did, because I am a loser. It's not about losing the weight any more. It's about self control. About actually reaching my goals. It's about succeeding. I need this. And I am actually getting there. You just now have a mental block because you are scared of succeeding. Of doing something good for yourself. Of looking good. ABout feeling great. I don't think you should be scared. I think you should take the challenge head on.
Maybe Hypnosis will help. I need something right now. I need to be mentally stronger for this battle. IT's gonna be a big battle. It's no longer about the seven pounds that I have to lose but haven't. IT's about me achieving my goals- about being disciplined. About loving my life and getting out of my paralysis. It's about being great- the best possible person I can be. I think I have it in me. I know I do! I just have to take the necessary steps.
Talking to myself every night and making myself feel bad isn't working. I need to find something greater. Maybe the hypnosis WILL work. I think it can!
Why do you feed yourself shit?
I've noticed, that if you don't eat the white bread or sugar in the mornings, then you don't crave it the rest of the day. BUT. If you eat it in the morning, then you do crave it the rest of the day.
So, the rule now is going to be, no white bread or sugar until twelve. Good? That's a great idea, Dina!
